Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
