Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
