Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
