Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
