I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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