I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
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She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize