she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
