for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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