wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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