What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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