Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
