i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
