I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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