That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
