i permit you to call me
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My vagina just recognized that song.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
COCAINE IS GR8
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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