He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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