pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
birth control should be required to get into college
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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