you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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