So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
