if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
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