big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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