Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize