we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
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I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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