How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
