i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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