So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
