I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
