Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
