Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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