You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
