I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize