she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize