My first STD was from a foam party
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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