I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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