whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I have aggressive nipples.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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