i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
