She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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