It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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