So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
