carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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