Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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