so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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