We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
