dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize