Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
