We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
