I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
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He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
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The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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