you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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