Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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