I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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