Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
