Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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