What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
sex in a hospital.. check
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
