I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
