Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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