Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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