if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
