The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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