You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
