Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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