Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
