And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
