You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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